i've got more to say

 

eyes are puffy pillows

from seeing and driving and laughing and being in rhythmic certainty

no longer am i so pretentious

i write in spiral bound pages 

the humility of it all

i write about impermanence

about hubris, transformation

i soften sharp corners of wood, smooth away splinters 

i am the cyborg, the hybrid, the in between

i steward the abandoned 

breathe life into death

heal the scarred

love until it's all i've ever known

i bathe in sage

i soak in heat

i feel my limbs pulsing with blood - so alive

i feel my brain, i feel my toes

i step outside

right before dusk 

oiled hair, a towel around my breasts

the world is still

i have lived 3 stories up 

for 3 years

3 palm trees say in the distance 

3 women reside in 

(almost)

3 rooms

i will move in 3 months 

somewhere secure, yet unknown to me in this moment

and i will be closer to the earth

i will live on the first floor, perhaps

i have grown to love the discomfort 

the intimacy 

of being first 

no longer do i reserve myself

like a removed bird high above

i find joy there of course

but now i am the salt of the earth

i sink into the earth

fertilize it, settle in it, let life grow once again within it

i am so here, with puffy eyes and a beating heart.